What is emotional intelligence? And why should we have it?

For me, it is a detachment from your feelings.

Feelings come and go like waves. It is a mechanical reaction of your brain through your past experiences and meanings.

When a similar event happens, your brain releases the chemical components to react and feel the same way as you did in the past.

But the problem is that the past doesn’t repeat itself. We only feel the same emotions when faced with situations that resemble this experience.

Any moments of our lives can’t be identical because everything is different at each moment.

When we feel the same way about a situation, we tend to recreate the past and become the same person we were at that moment.

So the only way you can create a new situation and a new future is to react differently. If you react differently, the result becomes different. Therefore, you create a new reality.

But does this mean you always have to keep things emotionally positive? No.

Most people try to avoid negative feelings. But the truth is, you simply can’t. It’s mechanically difficult unless you are a monk or a Saint.

Mastery comes from not reacting to your reaction. Just let things be.

It is ok to feel negative or feel bad about someone or something…but don’t react.

If you don’t react, it goes away like a magic trick. Any feelings or thoughts are permanent unless you keep on repeating them throughout your life.

But getting to the stage of not reacting to anything or any person would mean living a perfect life like a buddha or Jesus (even if he reacted on a few occasions). And we can’t expect that to happen all the time.

We can only do our best not to react to our own thoughts rather than completely controlling our emotions.

Control is fighting but detachment is accepting.

Let’s be more at ease with ourselves and be understanding (with love and compassion).

Everything starts within us.